By unknown
On the brink of my unbelief, I grasped for any hope I could, usually
through local Bible studies.
The last church Bible study I engaged in was presented by a speaker
who was a divorcee and trying to understand why God would allow her to
go through something like that.
At one point in her recorded DVD message, she said something along the
lines of: An ungodly woman is a bitter woman. Most of the women nodded
an amen.
Well, I was hanging on by a thread when this echoed through my ears,
and I recall thinking, I do not want to turn into a bitter woman. My
choice was to remain a Christian and obtain joy (at some point), or
leave the faith and become a bitter, unpleasant woman. At least those
were the options I felt I was given.
After thinking on this longer, I thought of all the Christian women
and men who I saw as bitter. Either they didn't fit the speaker's
formula, or they were not really Christian. I decided the latter fit
the bill best. Presently, I see the bitter church-goers as those who
hang on out of pride, or business reasons, or whatever.
Now I see I didn't have much of choice in becoming an ungodly woman or
not. I just wasn't one, no fault of my own. But I did, however, have
the choice to become a bitter woman.
Since leaving the fold, I am stubbornly passionate to pursue and
demonstrate joy. I don't want to confirm their attitude toward
unbelievers that keeps them clinging to this faith.
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