Growing up I was an only child of a single mother in a radical
pentecostal church, there were a few men who tried to be a "father
figure" in my life. I always wanted to find my biological father, my
mother told me, "you have fathers and you know they love you." The
first thing that is wrong with that is fathers plural. There was never
just one, they were all there to "help" from time to time. But they
really only cared if they thought "my soul might be in danger." In
other words, they were only there for negative. They only cared about
correcting me and preaching to me. They, for the most part, did not
want to show actual fatherly love in the sense that a young boy would
have craved. As I got older, I was deemed a misfit. At 14 I was a
danger to the community; they told me was unable to have contact with
any of my peers for fear that I would "poison them." They did not care
about ME, they only cared about their dogma. They only cared whether
or not I would comply with their lifestyle. Beyond that, they couldn't
care less. They just assume see me rot in prison, because that would
justify to them that they were right and they could use me as an
example. My poor mother is been so brainwashed by them, she feels she
cannot make a decision without their approval. She always put them in
front of me, believing always they had her and my best interest at
heart. She believes that they are a direct line from god, and what
they feel is best has got to be god's will. They just used her for her
tremendous musical skill, and I was just an afterthought to entice her
services. They told me if I wanted to leave me and my mother would
have to move to Dennison. They would put me in public school until I
was 18. Then my mother would move back and I would be on my own. This
scared me to death. Luckily my grandparents offered to let me move in
with them. That is how I escaped.
When I got out I was mentally behind and completely unprepared. So it
has taken me the last ten years to discover who I am and what I think.
I am still of course continuing to search. I would say I am desperate
for understanding, but I am not angry at life. I know it might
sometimes come off as angry when I complain and rail about things that
I annoy me or that I disagree with. The reason I do that is because I
am an activist and an anti-theist. I like to challenge the status quo;
I do not just accept that things just are the way they are. I employ
logic and reason, and search for evidence to find out what makes sense
to me. I started using Facebook as a tool to express my opinions. I
soon found out that a lot of people do not want to exorcise their
brain and actually try understand what I am questioning and why. I
know this is an example of how religion poisons everything,
Christians do not like people to
question their doctrine. Homestead would be a prime example of this.
Therefore people who are still under the mindset of "do not question
anything, just accept it for what it is" hate when people like me dare
to question or make light of their dogma no matter how crazy it might
seem.
I recently spoke to a reporter who is investigating allegations of
abuse in the cult. My mother found out of course and decided to end
our relationship. The passage my mother quoted me supporting her
decision to discontinue our relationship is completely justified by
the bible. "If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father
and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and
even his own life, he cannot be My disciple." Luke 14:26 There are
scriptures that contradict that very passage. This is a prime example
of "cherry picking," picking a scripture that fits what is needed, but
ignores other scriptures that say the exact opposite. I am sure a
skilled theist can make up some justification to that scripture.
"Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no
murderer has eternal life abiding in him." 1 John 3:15 not only is
that scripture completely wrong, but it contradicts the criteria of
being a follower of Jesus. Saying that someone is a murderer because
they might dislike, or even hate a person does not make them in the
slightest bit a murderer. That is like the scripture that says, "But I
tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already
committed adultery with her in his heart." Matt. 5:28 It is impossible
to control the thoughts of a person. How can you commit adultery "in
your heart?" And it is only adultery if one of the people is married.
These are scriptures similar to the commandment "Thou shall not covet
thy neighbor's goods" which is the basis for our capitalistic economy,
our society is run on the fact that people covet. What people think
cannot be regulated. Besides, if nobody ever looked at anyone with
lust, nobody would ever hook up or get married. Lust as they call it,
is just a natural function of our brain called attraction. If we were
not attracted to anyone sexually, how would we have propagated our
species?
Several theists told me to read "A Case for Christ." I read it.
Although it did not change my mind, I found it interesting. It
actually bolsters my view. I would point out that Lee was not an
atheist, he was a skeptical non-believer. He only interviewed ONE
non-Christian expert. That expert was only to say that, in his medical
opinion, Jesus could not have survived what experienced on the cross.
That is an easy conclusion to come to. The rest of the experts are
just saying why they believe the gospels to be the gospel. They might
in their expert opinion think that Jesus was not delusional, and that
he was in fact a god etc. I can concede that me might have existed,
more likely he is just a representation of people like him, prophets
who thought they were Messiah. However there is nothing, no evidence
to support that he was anything but just an influential guy who had a
lot of fans. The whole basis of Christianity is based in the concept
that everyone is born in "sin." Before Jesus, people were atoned for
by blood sacrifice. Then Jesus came and died as the final atonement
for all, but then he was resurrected and that proved that he was god
as well as human, a demigod is what the Greeks called such beings. I
reject the basis for this belief. We are not born into "sin," thus we
do not need atonement. Blood sacrifice is primitive, archaic and
brutish. It only shows that primitive people did grasp what cause
nature to work, they thought by taking life, it would in turn make the
gods happy and give back life in a sense. Remember, the ancient
central and South American natives performed human sacrifice to
appease the gods. In their minds it made the sun to come up and the
rain to fall. We find that abhorrent today, but yet the concept that a
demigod sacrificed himself in order to "save" humanity is perfectly
acceptable?
I have been reading "God is Not Great, How Religion Poisons
Everything." It is an amazing book. If you want a glimpse into my
general philosophy on the subject of religion I would recommend
reading it. I don't think that it is fair to say the reason I am
skeptical, and reject religion is because of my negative experience at
Homestead. The arguments for religion stand and fall on their own
merit. When I was younger, about 13 or so, I remember asking the
question (after learning about the ancient Greek gods) "What makes
those gods different from our god or Allah? What makes Christians
correct? What sect of Christianity is correct? Is everyone who was
unfortunate enough to be born on the wrong continent with the wrong
religion going to hell because they have not heard 'the good news?'" I
would say my skepticism started young. My activism however is because
of Homestead, I see what religious mind control does to people and
therefore I do anything in my power to undo and prevent it from
happening. I am not just an anti-theist either; I am an activist for
equal rights and freedom from tyranny for everyone as well as the
separation of church and state. My biological father is a gay,
transgendered woman. Before I even met her or knew anything about her,
I had gay friends, dated trans-women and discovered that I am
bisexual. Equal rights for everyone, especially for the LGBT community
is very important to me. I am fanatical about equal rights for
marriage, I myself do not ever plan to marry but to say two consenting
adults who want to make that kind of commitment is wrong, to me is
appalling. The government needs to live and let live. It should only
make laws in order to prevent harm to other humans. Otherwise leave us
well enough alone to think, believe and love whomever we like.
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